SpaceFed's Rules of Acquisition [Star Trek]
Taken from The Ferengi's Rules of Acquisition and slightly edited. I like quite a lot of them, and you?
SpaceFed's Rules of Acquisition [Star Trek] wrote: * 1. Once you have their money, you never give it back.
* 2. The best deal is the one that brings the most profit.
* 3. Never spend more for an acquisition than you have to.
* 6. Never allow family to stand in the way of opportunity. or Never allow family to stand in the way of profit.
* 7. Keep your ears open.
* 8. Small print leads to large risk.
* 9. Opportunity plus instinct equals profit.
* 10. Greed is eternal.
* 11. Even if it's free, you can always buy it cheaper.
* 12. Anything worth selling is worth selling twice.
* 13. Anything worth doing is worth doing for money.
* 16. A deal is a deal.
* 17. A contract is a contract is a contract. But only between SpaceFed.
* 18. A SpaceFed without profit is no SpaceFed at all.
* 19. Satisfaction is not guaranteed.
* 21. Never place friendship above profit.
* 22. A wise man can hear profit in the wind.
* 23. Nothing is more important than your health. Except for your money.
* 27. There is nothing more dangerous than an honest businessman.
* 31. Never make fun of a SpaceFed's mother...Insult something he cares about instead.
* 33. It never hurts to suck up to the boss.
* 34. War is good for business.
* 35. Peace is good for business.
* 41. Profit is its own reward.
* 44. Never confuse wisdom with luck.
* 45. Expand or die.
* 47. Never trust a man wearing a better suit than your own.
* 48. The bigger the smile, the sharper the knife.
* 52. Never ask when you can take.
* 57. Good customers are as rare as Deuterium. Treasure them.
* 58. There is no substitute for success.
* 59. Free advice is seldom cheap.
* 60. Keep your lies consistent.
* 62. The riskier the road, the greater the profit.
* 74. Knowledge equals profit.
* 75. Home is where the heart is, but the stars are made of Deuterium.
* 76. Every once in a while, declare peace. It confuses the hell out of your enemies!
* 79. Beware of the Vulcan greed for knowledge.
* 82. The flimsier the product, the higher the price.
* 85. Never let the competition know what you're thinking.
* 89. Ask not what your profits can do for you, but what you can do for your profits.
* 94. Females and finances don't mix.
* 97. Enough... is never enough.
* 98. Every man has his price.
* 99. Trust is the biggest liability of all.
* 102. Nature decays, but Deuterium is forever.
* 104. Faith moves mountains... of inventory.
* 106. There is no honor in poverty.
* 109. Dignity and an empty sack is worth a sack.
* 111. Treat people in your debt like family. Exploit them.
* 112. Never have sex with the boss's sister.
* 113. Always have sex with the boss.
* 121. Everything is for sale, even friendship.
* 123. Even a blind man can recognize the glow of Deuterium.
* 125. You can't make a deal if you're dead.
* 139. Wives serve, brothers inherit.
* 141. Only fools pay retail.
* 144. There's nothing wrong with charity... as long as it winds up in your pocket.
* 162. Even in the worst of times, someone turns a profit.
* 168. Whisper your way to success.
* 177. Know your enemies... but do business with them always.
* 181. Not even dishonesty can tarnish the shine of profit.
* 189. Let others keep their reputation. You keep their money.
* 190. Hear all; trust nothing.
* 192. Never cheat a Klingon... unless you're sure you can get away with it.
* 194. It's always good business to know about your customers before they walk in your door.
* 202. The justification of profit is profit.
* 208. Sometimes the only thing more dangerous than the question is an answer.
* 211. Employees are the rungs on the ladder of success. Don't hesitate to step on them.
* 214. Never begin a business negotiation on an empty stomach.
* 217. You can't free a fish from water.
* 218. Always know what you're buying.
* 229. Deuterium lasts longer than lust.
* 236. You can't buy fate.
* 239. Never be afraid to mislabel a product.
* 242. More is good... all is better.
* 255. A wife is a luxury... a smart accountant, a necessity.
* 261. A wealthy man can afford anything except a conscience.
* 263. Never allow doubt to tarnish your lust for Deuterium.
* 266. When in doubt, lie.
* 284. Deep down, everyone's a SpaceFed.
* 285. No good deed ever goes unpunished.